Living the Eucharistic Pattern : Blessed

       After we are chosen, God doesn't just leave us on our own. We are BLESSED. This blessing doesn't just happen once, it is an ongoing experience. Blessings affirm us in who we are, unlike compliments which are focused on what we do. Jesus cares more about who we are than what we do. Even Jesus experienced affirmations from God multiple times in the Gospels. After Jesus was baptized the Holy Spirit descends on him as a dove "and behold, a voice out of the heavens said, "This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased." Matthew 3:17. I absolutely love this passage. Imagine God saying the same thing about you "This is My beloved son/daughter, in whom I am well-pleased" Isn't that what our hearts desire? Especially if our biological parents don't say voice their approval of us I can imagine we would desire it that much more. Another bible passage comes from Numbers:23-25 "Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying 'Thus you shall bless the sons of Israel  You shall say to them The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you, and be gracious to you" God certainly desired to bestow blessings upon us and allow us to feel affirmed in exactly who we are. 

       One of the most important places where God will richly blesses and affirms us is through prayer. This is only one of the reasons why prayer is so important. It can be very difficult to be silent in prayer. Anyone who knows me knows that I like to talk A LOT. Likewise I spend a lot of time talking to God in prayer rather than sitting in silence. However, I have been trying to at least have some silence after I tell God all that I want to tell him .Adoration can be a good time to practice just being in God's presence in silence so that we can be attentive to what he is telling us but we can make time for silence anywhere. In this silence we are able to listen for the voice of blessing. My challenge to you is to spend more time in silence in order to recognize the blessings God would like to bestow on you. God has really been helping me deal with some things lately and all it has taken is for me to spend some time in silence before him. He has helped me put together the puzzle pieces he has been constructing in my life. It has been very helpful! 

       Furthermore we can help affirm each-other  We really should let everyone in our lives know how much of a blessing they are! So many people feel like their life is pointless and that is never true. I have not done the best job at implementing this. Imagine telling the cashier at the grocery store how she has blessed you, not exactly normal social protocol but it could touch her heart. Also, when someone asks how you are instead of saying "I am good" try saying "I am blessed". Again that is another one I need to work on! I have been blessed by having so many people read my blog and I have been really surprised by all of the positive feedback I have received so thank you for blessing me :)

Living the Eucharistic Pattern : Chosen

       About a month ago San Diego was blessed by the presence of the wonderful Catholic author, Katrina Zeno. I had the privileged of talking with her at a few young adult events and then I was able to attend her presentation on Living the Eucharistic Pattern. If you are not aware, I am a huge fan of her book "Discovering the Feminine Genius: Every Woman's Journey" so it was kind of surreal to meet her and talk with her. You can just ask Tim about how excited I was when I realized who she was. Katrina has experienced a few hardships in her life including having her Catholic marriage unravel and becoming a divorced single mother. In all of her suffering God taught her about the true meaning of her vocation as a woman. She is a beautiful woman whose life has been transformed by Pope John Paul II's writings on women, especially Theology of the Body. Discovering the Feminine Genius really made an impact on my life and I was eager to learn about what Living the Eucharistic Pattern meant.

       Katrina's presentation was only about an hour but it contained a lot of information so I decided to break it up into four posts. A lot of her presentation was inspired by "Life of the Beloved" by Henri Nouwen. If you are not interested in adding an entire book to your reading list it is summarized in a chapter of Katrina's book titled "When Life Doesn't Go Your Way". As Christian's we are called to live a Eucharistic Pattern in our daily lives. By being anchored in the Eucharist we can truly have a faith encounter with the Living God which allows us to share in his sufferings and death before the resurrection. Just like the Eucharist our lives are Chosen, Blessed, Broken, and Given.

      We are all CHOSEN by Jesus himself. Katrina reflected on Jesus spotting Zacchaeus, a tax collector in a tree. Zacchaeus was a man who was hated by the community. In a sense he was perceived to be a traitor as he was taking their money to give to Rome. However, he wanted to see Jesus so he decided to climb a tree and watch from afar where he could be safe. Jesus was in the midst of a crowd of people all trying to get his attention and he looks right at Zacchaeus up in the tree and tells him to get down because Jesus plans to stay at his house that night. Jesus chose a man who was hated by the community, a tax collector, a sinner. Jesus chose us and we can't do anything to earn or lose it. No matter what you have done Jesus wants you to open your home (your heart) for him to stay at. Are you ready for Jesus to come stay with you tonight? I don't know about you but it seems crazy to me to turn down Jesus. However, Jesus knocks at the door of our hearts continuously inviting us into prayer or to share his love with others and I know that I don't always answer. At the end of the day we must remind ourselves that Jesus doesn't notice performance he notices people. By understanding that we are chosen by Jesus and he wants to come into our lives we can respond by running to prepare our lives for him to be welcomed inside.

Too Many Flowers

       This post comes mainly from an email Tim sent me earlier this week. His email was in response to a Time Magazine cover story called "The Childfree Life: When Having it All Means Not Having Children" I have adapted it slightly but the majority are his words of wisdom :)
       Honestly, no one in this world will love you more truly than a child who you show true love. People need to understand the most important investment you can make in this world is something that will be passed down through the generations. You would not be here today if not for thousands of people coming together to raise children. Do not invest all of your time in something that will not love you back, your bank account. What is the ultimate meaning of life; love. And how do we achieve that?  Through our relationship with others, not through what we do, but who we are; our thoughts, our minds, our lives. Life is not about comfort, it is not about living the easy life, it is about what will give our lives true purpose which is the endless fight for the salvation of humanity. I hope one day when I reach heaven, serving the world will not end, and that is part of being a saint. I believe that we work hard in this life not to have an easy life one day down the road, but for all of eternity, I will fight for God and pray for others even in Heaven. I will give true life to the world through my children, and through my children, the world will have many saints.
       You know, I heard an excellent thing on Catholic Answers  It was in defense of having children. Something came up and one of the hosts mentions he has 5 children. The caller responds that he is selfish, because children are a drain on the economy. They eat up tax payer dollars through schooling, they require more resources as we need diapers, more food to feed them, toys, etc. They also costs hundreds of thousands of dollars to raise, not to mention the drain on the parents. And to have 5 is crazy, no way each child is getting the attention he or she needs. But he responded that you cannot put a measure on love and happiness, so she cannot know how much his children are loved, but what he can tell her is his children know love through God. More-so is each of his children has been taught to love the world. She had no children. So he responded, one day you will grow old, you may not be able to care for yourself. You may fall in your home and need to call 911, who will respond. Not the generation today, but the generation he is raising, his children. If you are placed in a nursing home, it will not be your peers that will take care of you, but a nurse, a young one, perhaps one of his children. The food you eat, will be picked by a younger generation still strong enough to do so. You ride a bus, it will be driven by people still young enough to have good eyesight. There will be hundreds of younger people taking care of you even without you knowing. If there aren't enough young people, who will care for you? Who will pay your social security? Children are expensive, but even in monetary terms, the amount they will give back to society is far greater.
       Now this Rachel adding my two cents. Yesterday I was sitting in Adoration before the Vigil Service of the Assumption of Mary. God helped me to realize that his personal plan for my salvation truly is through family life. I tried to imagine myself as a nun and I realized that I may not have been able to learn how to love selflessly and die to myself in a convent. It is kind of rough for me to realize this but I think I really will need the selfless love of my children to purify and sanctify my heart. I really treasure my sleep and I sometimes worry how I will cope with motherhood but I know that God will give me the grace I need to do so. I am so thankful that God has lead me this far to my vocation and I know he will continue to do so. However, it does make me wonder how will God be able to soften the hearts of those called to married life if they are not willing to open their hearts to the love children will bring into their lives?
    
How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers. - Mother Teresa 

One Way Ticket to Heaven

               I have touched on this topic in an earlier post but I was having trouble sleeping at 3 am and after praying I decided that this was something that needed further attention. Lately I have really been faced with how selfish I can be and how much I really need to learn to die to myself in order to prepare for marriage. We have been having a relationship skills series at St. Brigid's and this past week we learned about understanding expectations. Expectations have caused many conflicts in my relationship with Tim. Some of them are normal especially in regards to communication. My view of communication is shaped by my feminine hard-wiring and his view is definitely shaped by the fact that he is male. This is something that we have been working through and as a result I have grown more comfortable with his silence and he has learned to talk more and express himself more. We have been dating 31 months and communication is something we will continue to work on for the rest of our lives. It has been a struggle at times but it has allowed us to grow into better people.
              Here is the tricky part. In the relationship skills series we learned that there are four steps to learning to deal with and work through expectations. The first one is to become aware of your own expectations since a lot of them are unconscious. Then you evaluate them to figure out which expectations are unrealistic. If they are unrealistic you have to somehow learn to let them go even if you have held to them for years. Then once you decide which expectations are reasonable you need to communicate them lovingly to your partner. Lastly you negotiate how to manage the expectations and create a share vision together. Expectations only become valid when mutually agreed upon. I don't know about you but this was a tough pill for me to swallow. I have some expectations that I think are completely reasonable but Tim thinks are not. This will be something I will have to spend time reflecting on deeply. I know that Tim loves me and wants to work with me on this but nonetheless I know that it will not be an easy process for me.
             It is incredibly difficult to be faced with the reality of our selfish nature and how it really is incompatible with loving another person more that our self. I know that I tend to me too hard on myself and that I am probably not as selfish as I feel that I am but this is still something I am struggling with. It is not enough to want to die to yourself, you have to actually do it. However, God has been showing me that this is not a negative process it is truly a beautiful process that we all go through in life. Yesterday I had the pleasure of attending a Ladies Breakfast at St. Brigid's and we had a parishioner come talk to us about marriage (she has fifty years of experience). She told us that marriage can be incredibly difficult at times but it allows us to see our true selves reflected in the other person. We have the opportunity to face all of our flaws and selfish tendencies and God gives us the grace to overcome it. Marriage allows us to grow in holiness with our spouse.
           When we think of marriage as allowing us to purify our hearts and desires we can see how a marriage truly lived out as a Sacrament is a one way ticket to heaven. Ironically, at the same time the ladies were learning more about marriage the men were discussing humility. Humility is really the core of this whole process. We must humble ourselves at the foot of the cross and embrace our humanity and all of the flaws associated with it. The love of ones spouse and God combined together can give us the strength to face anything. At times I am scared to face my flaws but this is simply a lack of faith. Somehow I think that God is not capable of purifying my heart and desires to be selfless and altruistic. When I get disheartened I have to give myself a reality check and almost laugh at myself because I know God is more than capable of giving me the grace I need to love Tim as he loves him! There is nothing God cannot help us with if we fully accept and cooperate with the grace he gives us. As Tim likes to remind me that sometimes we can pray and pray for God's help but then it requires for us to take actions no matter how hard and humbling it is! Thank God for all of the love and blessings he bestows on us when we are striving to follow his path of goodness.