Running Straight into the Arms of Love Itself

        Lately I have not had much time for blogging. It is less than three months away from my wedding and I am working full time, taking a class on Infant and Toddler Development, leading a book club and starting this week I will be teaching 5th grade Catechism classes. I am really blessed by all of these activities but it does not leave much time or energy for blogging. However, people have been telling me that they really enjoy reading my blogs so I will try to post at least a few times a month. 

       Now I will get to the topic at hand. Last weekend Tim and I helped to facilitate a young adult retreat for 140 young adults from all over San Diego. It was such a wonderful weekend up in Julian. I always love having the opportunity to watch people encounter Jesus in new ways and also see how God plans to use the weekend to nurture me and my faith as well. One of my favorite part of retreats is the opportunity to experience the combination of praise and worship, Adoration, and Confession. It is an experience beyond what words can describe. Sitting and kneeling in Adoration before Jesus is the best way to prepare my heart to meet him in the Sacrament of Confession. Having beautiful music in the background alternating with periods of silence really helps to center and to focus me. 

       After a while in Adoration I decided to join the line for Confession. We had six priests for 140 people so there was a continuous line for two hours and it was a really beautiful thing to witness. While I was waiting in line I was kneeling and staring at the Monstrance on the altar. Next to the altar was a statue of the Sacred Heart of Jesus with his arms of mercy and love outstretched towards me. I close my eyes and imagined myself being the prodigal daughter running into the arms of Jesus and having him embrace me with a huge smile and warm hug. It was such a beautiful moment and it was showing me exactly what was about to happen when I confessed my sins to the Priest. Even though I was ashamed of things I had done and that I hadn't always pleased God with my actions, I knew that he would receive me with love and forgiveness. After this image I continued to pray and prepare my heart for Confession but instead of the anxiety I usually felt I had joy. I had to go outside to meet the Priest for Confession and it was getting dark but I could still see his face while I confessed my sins (sometimes through tears- I usually end up crying) and he was smiling at me. I really laid my sins out there and he received them with such love and mercy. Instead of giving me a standard penance he actually responded to my difficulties and gave me a penance that actually helped me to address the underlying cause of my major sins. I imagine Jesus was smiling down upon us thinking that this is what the Sacrament should look like. After I received absolution I went back inside and kneeled before the Monstrance on the Altar. I felt so light and free it was amazing. I have never quite felt that way after Confession! My soul felt clean, or as Father Calloway likes to explain it, I had my spiritual diaper changed! 

Jesus had wrapped me up in his love just as he had shown me in the image of running into his arms of love. I have been struggling with getting to regular Confession at least once if not twice a month but now I know I definitely don't want to stay away from his merciful arms of love!

      There are many aspects of the Catholic Faith that I feel incredibly blessed by but I felt really called to share this experience of mine. Having the opportunity to experience Adoration and Confession at the same time is beyond moving I can't encourage people to seek it out enough. Also, if you are planning a retreat I strongly encourage you to include this component it will change lives :)